kasumin: monado loading (monado: reading...)
I wasn't apologizing in an earlier post because I'm worried about sounding cool or not. It's just that I know how most people who aren't depressed react to those who are having a really rough time. It's too much. It's too intense.

Reasons )

Closing this journal again. I have a journal I can write in irl anyway. Less shame there. And less compulsion to compare myself to others (which I know I'm not supposed to do, but come on, let's be realistic here).
kasumin: (agrias: valiant)
Wow, over one year of not posting to this. Not to say that I haven't been checking it.

I kept meaning to post here, but then I'd see how dead the site seemed and I'd get really depressed and give up. I also just didn't think it was worth it to post. On my own reading list I see people living adult lives and doing adult things and adjusting to problems and not whining about them. Whereas all I'd do is, well, whine. I thought maybe I'd come back when I was less prone to that, but surprise surprise. That never happened. I feel bad coming back because all I'm going to bring with me is more negativity.

So I guess this is my untriumphant return to dreamwidth or something.
kasumin: (nu: sleepy)
And so I find myself doing what I've been doing for the past ten or so years. Fruitlessly going through Internet sites instead of going to bed. Going to bed would be to remember how insanely lonely I feel and pointlessly surfing web sites ameliorates that feeling somewhat. But alas, it's never enough. Time to turn in, I guess :\

Looking out into the void of the Internet in some sad attempt to fill the void within myself.

I'll file this under "Things I can't do a thing about" and attempt to forget about it over some Tales of Xillia tomorrow, I guess. If it wasn't for the wonderful escapism I manage to find through games, anime, etc. I wonder if I would drink or resort to recreational drugs instead. That's a rather unpleasant thought. I really should be sleeping.
kasumin: (agrias: valiant)
Went to see Pacific Rim this weekend. Holy shit, I did not expect that level of awesome.

Pacific Rim impressions )

I've finally achieved my dream of writing a fic over 10,000 words long. I realize that it's probably going to be well over 20,000 at this point, which surprises me. I wonder if I'll be able to hit 50,000? Will it be too long? Are my chapters boring? I don't even know.

I'm still kind of embarrassed about writing a Yu-Gi-Oh/Iron Man crossover, but it works so well, dammit. I just worry that the way I write Kaiba makes him come off as super boring. Well, hopefully later chapters can make up for it. And I hesitate to post it on AO3 because the Avengers fandom is strong there and I'm worried they'd find it and expose my fraudulent writing of Tony's character (hell if I read the comics). I dunno, maybe it isn't that bad. Either way, I'll keep writing.

I'm also working on what can only be called a labor of love for Etrian Odyssey IV. I fell in love with one of the NPCs in the game so much that I'm trying to write a fic that goes over his (angsty) background, but I keep changing my mind about certain parts and now I have 17,000 words of repetitive scenes and fragments where I've changed my mind in the middle of some scenes. I have a good idea of how I want to approach it now, but ugh, it's almost like I'm starting all over again. But dammit, I love this character so much that I just want to write this. That and translate the doujin I got from Japan that features this character.

Fanfiction aside, I'm supposed to be writing two different sets of personal essays. Ugh. Even when I'm motivated, just sitting down to write is difficult.
kasumin: (peace)
I have my comprehensive exams coming up, so naturally I'd stress over them to the point of having insomnia. I literally cannot sleep without taking something like benadryl, and even then my body struggles to wake up, which sucks.

To break up the monotony of studying, I started watching Tiger & Bunny. Holy shit, this series' name does not do it service. All I knew going in was that everyone paired the two main characters together. Despite being the closet fujoshi that I am, that wasn't enough to get me to watch it. Then in March, at an academic conference of all places, someone did a presentation where they analyzed the series. She showed about 15 seconds of the opening and I was blown away. Corporate-sponsored super heroes?! Well shit, I had to watch it now.

Of course, I'm bad about watching anything. So I naturally didn't get to watching it until last week. But omg. THIS SHOW. 1) I have a thing for dorky fictional dads who are just doing their best (bonus points if they're single dads) 2) SO MUCH MANPAIN. I can't remember the last time I watched a series where grown men cry so much.

Barnaby, just... Barnaby. Episode 19 alone had so much of Barnaby sobbing bitterly. At one point I started crying, too. His backstory really got to me. But at the same time, it was so engrossing to watch. I know people say some characters hurt so pretty, and that is pretty much Barnaby Brooks Jr. in a nutshell.

And then there's Kotetsu, who's such a weird, compelling character. Frustrating as hell, yet endearing at the same time. And a surprisingly deep character. From the first two episodes I was expecting a comedy series about superheroes on a reality show. Instead I got this weird deconstruction of what it means to be a superhero. And Kotetsu and Barnaby's back stories are total tearjerkers.

Oh, and then there was all the subtext between Kotetsu and Barnaby. By episode 2 I pretty much shipped it. It doesn't help that Kotetsu hugs Barnaby at one point. And that scene in episode 24... it was supposed to be sad but I was smiling like an idiot because it was so ship-tastic. This show! It's just so nice to watch a show with two older male characters who get emotional over things. I swear, way too much media out there, anime or otherwise, doesn't have enough of that. It's probably the one thing that surprised me the most about this anime.

Need to go dig up the movie. Man, if shows like this are what I've been missing since I stopped watching anime, I need to get back into anime post-haste. It's not even that I've grown out of anime, I'm just lazy about watching TV shows. But OMG. Just... this show. Since it's an anime. I doubt there's good fic for it, though... oh well.

Might also have to see about buying the blurays if I can find them cheaply enough. A show this good deserves my money. Man, I did not expect to fall for this show, but hnnng. So much manpain. Also, I like that the two main characters are older than anime characters usually are. Barnaby's 24 and Kotetsu's official age has apparently never been stated, but it seems like he's 30-35 years old. This show just hit my fangirl tastes in all the right places.
kasumin: (agrias: valiant)
This seems to be the year of the 3DS for me. The first new game I picked up this year was Etrian Odyssey IV: Legends of the Titan, which I really enjoyed despite not being a fan of dungeon crawlers at all. After that I played Fire Emblem: Awakening, which was fun. It's probably the only Fire Emblem game I'd ever care to play due to giving you the option to not have stupid permanent death (still one of the dumbest things ever, in my opinion).

And now I'm playing Project X Zone and having a total blast. This game is amazing! For the unfamiliar: Project X Zone is a strategy RPG crossover between Capcom, Namco, and Sega. There's over 40 playable in the games overall, I think? It's pretty simple for an SRPG, but surprisingly fun.

I originally bought it because I was one of those people complaining that we never get cool crossover games like this (we never got Namco x Capcom on the PS2). So when the game was, seemingly against all odds (I heard the actual creator begged for it to be released outside of Japan O__o), I pretty much felt obligated to buy it. I hadn't heard much good about the actual gameplay. Apparently the game bombed in Japan, and reviews as well as some of my friends here have been saying that it's boring and repetitive. So I tentatively picked it up without even playing the demo...

I thought the gameplay was literally mashing buttons, but it's not that at all. Doing damage is all about juggling the enemy in the air for as long as possible and carefully managing when you call in assist units to keep enemies airborne. The attacks themselves are repetitive, but I'm too busy focusing on figuring out the best way to do damage and build up my meter for special attacks to mind the repetitiveness.

Gameplay aside, though, I love crossovers! And this game is so ridiculous about it, oh my god. In one of the battles I just finished, I was fighting off a horde of zombies with Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine from Resident Evil, Yuri and Estelle from Tales of Vesperia, Frank West from Dead Rising, Hsien Ko and Demitri from Dark Stalkers, and Dante (the original) from Devil May Cry. Amazing XD Never thought I'd be able to combo Nemesis into oblivion with Savage Wolf Fury, hahahaha.

Even with the game play and the crossover awesomeness, though, another reason I was pretty much obligated to buy this game was because you get Mega Man X and Zero in it as team members. Out of every Mega Man, X has constantly been left out of crossover games (never got into any Capcom fighting game unlike classic Mega Man, Zero a million times, and Mega Man from the Legends series). As my favorite Mega Man character, I just had to get a game that featured him (not to mention that the X series is dead). This is pretty much my last chance to ever play as X in any capacity. And I must say, he is awesome to use. He even has the Hadoken from the first MMX game!

The localization for Project X Zone is really impressive, too. I'm noticing that they take some liberties with the translation, but it's mainly so that they can have characters' dialogue match the English releases of those games. They even made a reference to a somewhat obscure joke from the first Resident Evil. And as far as I can tell from looking at some of the characters' move names, this translation matches the original games (which in many cases departed from the original Japanese in naming attacks and techniques). Just... amazing. I love attention to detail like this in a localization.

I'm already on chapter 24, so I think I might try to slow it down a bit in this game, lol. I really need to savor this game. They may never make another one like it since it didn't sell well in Japan. I didn't expect to love this game this much. The 2D sprite artwork, too! Oh man <3 It's so rare that you can see such lovely and detailed sprites these days where everything's 3D models.

Speaking of crossovers, I finally uploaded chapter 2 of In Stark Contrast. It seems to be getting a few favorites and even some reviews. I'm really surprised. Guess I'd better hurry up and get the next chapter ready. I really hope I can push myself to finish this. I've already accepted the fact that a beta is a luxury I'll never have. It takes me awhile to write a new chapter because I have to go over it a bunch of times. Even then, I still miss things. Oh well.


Jun. 8th, 2013 07:53 pm
kasumin: (peace)
Finally got off my butt and watched Star Trek: Into Darkness today. I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. I hear that reception of the film overall was a bit lukewarm, which I guess I can understand.

The one thing that really hit me while watching this: Benedict Cumberbatch's face is really creepy.

Oh well, the movie gave me inspiration for this scene in this fic I'm writing.
kasumin: (draw fail)
I am... alive. I haven't made a regular post in awhile, I guess? Not much is really going on. Last semester ended, which I'm thankful for. It was a long, grueling semester where I (was required to) took 4 classes, which was a pain. I still have some work left over from them that I need to complete. And right now I'm taking summer classes to finish up my first Master's degree (yes, first...)

In gaming news, I finished Etrian Odyssey IV and have moved onto Fire Emblem: Awakening. Once I stopped bitching about how much I miss Tactics Ogre, I've started enjoying FE:A. But I think it's the changes and the addition of Casual mode that make it enjoyable. I don't think I could enjoy the earlier entries in the Fire Emblem series at all. I think permadeath is a video game is the dumbest thing ever. So dumb that even Yasumi Matsuno stopped putting it in his games. Final Fantasy Tactics, Advance, A2, and Tactics Ogre's PSP remake didn't feature immediate permadeath. Diehard fans of the series tell me that permadeath is great because it makes you take your decisions seriously, but from what I know, they all reset the game when one of their units dies most of the time, anyway. In my opinion, features like that inconvenience the player more than anything, but that's just my two cents. Perhaps I shall rant more on that later.

I find it amusing that you get to make an avatar character to represent yourself in the game. You even get a choice of three different male or female voice actors! I accidentally ended up having my avatar marry the main character, even though I wanted to pair him up with someone else. Woops, lol. The whole support system is pretty cool, though, and I can see why the game has been so popular. Though part of me is bitter that Tactics Ogre didn't get this kind of recognition when it came out two years ago T___T

Other than that, I'm about 12 pages into this one really aggressive plot bunny that's taken over my life as of late. My goal is to some day finish a fanfic that's more than 3000 words, no matter what canon it's for, and it seems like this one might be the one! But maybe not, ugh. I always run out of steam before I can get anywhere close to the end. Then I feel pathetic and sad :( Perhaps I'm just not meant to be a writer. Not that I'm thinking of ever going pro. I just like being able to write. But sometimes I wonder if my characters come out sounding interesting at all. I'm not very good at understanding people in real life, so it only follows that any character I write would end up sounding rather uninteresting and flat. Or maybe I'm overthinking this.

Though I am having fun with this particular fic. So many OCs that I'll have to kill off eventually. Thinking of how they should die in as un-cliche a way as possible is the difficult part, however.

Also, I'm pretty sure no one'll be interested in reading this because it's for a canon that no one writes fanfiction for. And well, the way the canon itself is structured doesn't make it conducive to fanfiction, anyway. Oh well.
kasumin: (asbel lhant)
My friend who after over 5 years of careful coaxing has finally gotten me into the Etrian Odyssey series likes making character backgrounds for his characters. So in celebration of beating Etrian Odyssey 4, I decided to write up my own backgrounds for my guild characters.

I've based a lot of my characters names and/or personalities off of other fictional characters. See if you can guess who comes from whom (one's really obvious, I think).

There are some spoilers, especially for labyrinths 3 and 4.

Character profiles under the cut )
kasumin: (agrias: valiant)
For many years, a good friend of mine has been going on and on and on about the old school dungeon crawler series Etrian Odyssey, which originally came out for the DS in 2007. I've always liked the cutesy art of the series, but old school dungeon crawlers (and, well, dungeon crawlers in general) aren't really my thing. So I'd listen to his harrowing tales of crazy dungeon adventures and fighting horrific monsters (like the dreaded FOEs) and it always piqued my interest.

Cut to 2012 when Etrian Odyssey 4 comes out for the 3DS in Japan. This time, however, they announce a "casual" mode for beginners. So I finally say, "Okay, I can do this!" And I get the demo early last month. I played on casual mode until I realized it made the game too easy and then switched to Normal (unlike Fire Emblem: Awakening, you can switch the difficulty when you're in town, which is very nice).

From what I've read, EO4 streamlines a lot of mechanics from the earlier 3 Etrian Odyssey games. Some people complain it's too easy (some series veterans), but I don't mind that at all. For an old school dungeon crawler, the game is very fair about stuff. It'll present challenges to you while giving you clues as to how to deal with the challenge. And the ten different classes available in the game are so well-balanced that it's hard to make a team that doesn't work well together.

Also, you can generate cool stuff for street pass like Guild cards!

It'll probably take me awhile to beat the game (I just got to the 3rd major labyrinth dungeon), but I'm happy with taking it slow. I'm pretty sure I'll have to make some major tweaks to my party soon as I'm having some trouble in the latest dungeon. But once again, it's a lot easier to do that in EO4 than it was in earlier games in the series.

And once again, I loooove the character designs:
kasumin: (shantotto: cannot be helped)
I found my collection of bookmarks from middle and high school when visiting my parents' house this weekend! I thought I'd lost or accidentally thrown these out! But they were sitting in a shoe box in my room this entire time. Oh man, I love this collection. I think I started it back in 4th or 5th grade. I tend to be kind of sentimental about the past, so I hang onto stuff like this.

I did notice something interesting, too... Back in middle school there was an annual list of recommended books for reading. I used to try and read every book on the list (it was about 20-30 books). And if I remember right, I'd highlight each book I finished on the bookmark. Well, I found the bookmarks for 1996-1997, 1997-1998, and 1998-1999. The first too bookmarks were highlighted entirely. The last one either only had a handful highlighted or wasn't highlighted at all, I forget.

What happened in 1998-1999? I started using the Internet habitually. So either there's a cause and effect relationship there, or I just didn't highlight. But knowing how meticulous I am, I'm pretty sure I would've highlighted. It's kind of a sobering thought, looking back.

And this is why I like keeping stuff like that around.
kasumin: (asbel lhant)
As a creature of habit who still follows Naruto, Bleach, and Claymore, on a weekly/monthly basis, I find myself pleasantly surprised at how interesting Naruto and Bleach have gotten lately. Well, Naruto was arguably always interesting, though the whole Ninja World War thing did get dull for awhile. But Bleach was incredibly dull for a few years up until recently.

A lot of the friends I knew back in school have dropped these series ages ago, which makes me sad. I could never quite justify dropping a manga since reading each chapter only takes up about 10 minutes of my team every week. Can't really complain about that. An anime episode takes up twice as much time if you follow it on a weekly basis! I will drop a manga if it gets really bad, though. D. Gray Man is a trainwreck that I still occasionally look back on. Its updates only seem to become fewer and further between as time goes on.

I guess Dragon Ball Z is the first Jump series I got into, but I only watched the anime. Yu-Gi-Oh came after, but again, only watched the anime until I started buying the manga in 2004 or 2005 or so. I still need to read all of it, but I've been lazy about hunting down the other half of the series (I own 18 out of 38 volumes). And Battle City seems way too long. I think it must be at least a third of the series. That's really fricking long!

Bleach really grabbed me in early 2005, and I started reading the manga and watching the anime. I thought Naruto was dumb until I was somehow convinced to marathon 150 episodes of the first anime series during the summer of 2005. I must say, that was one of the best summers of my life. Final Fantasy X, Tales of Symphonia, 150 episodes of Naruto, AND my first Otakon. Ah, good times...

In any case, I fell in love with Naruto and it has since eclipsed Bleach as my favorite currently running manga. I could go on for ages about what I love about it. But my TWO favorite things about Naruto are the following: 1) The main character actually has noticeable development. Naruto starts off as a really annoying, stupid kid. But wow does he mature as the series goes on. He still has his goofy moments, but that's what I love about him. 2) The power structure of the series is very well done. Unlike DBZ which had silly power levels that went so high they stopped counting at the end of the Frieza saga or Bleach's Shikai and Bankai levels (Kubo REALLY wrote himself into a corner there), Naruto has a vast array of different ninja abilities. You've got the three different techniques of ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu. Then you have the 5 different elements of ninjutsu, as well as the other elements you get when you combine them. And THEN you've got the idea of chakra, which is sort of like power levels, but far more interestingly done. A character can have a crapload of chakra and still get their butt kicked because their opponent was smart about using their own techniques to their advantage.

I can't say Naruto ever gets boring in the way DBZ, Bleach, or Yu Yu Hakusho did. There's always some new crazy ability for someone to have. Or characters can just develop the abilities they already have. Ah, such a great series. That I've never bothered reading fic for, for some reason.

And then there's Claymore, which is all kinds of crazy and has copious amounts of female nudity, yet doesn't bother me. It's such a weird manga, and it's actually been pretty dull for awhile, but I still follow it because I love how different it is.

I really don't know what I'm going to do when both Bleach and Naruto end. People complain about Naruto dragging on, but I'm fine with that. I don't want it to end just yet ;__; I'll miss Bleach, too, even though it isn't as good as Naruto. I might even become desperate enough to read One Piece. Oh man, that'd be the day.
kasumin: (kaiba: if looks could kill)
Well, I finally did it. I finally wrote the first chapter of that ridiculous crossover fic I've had planned in my head for months, now. Just need to give it one more look over before I post it. I'm reading this and I'm like "Is this even good? Does this suck?"

Oh well. Perhaps I'll post it here when I'm finally done. I'm kind of embarrassed about it because, well, I'm very self-conscious about my writing. And it's such a silly crossover.
kasumin: (sopheria)
So my second semester of graduate school has begun. So far it's okay. I'm going to have a lot of reading this semester, though. Not too excited about that, but that's grad school.

I went to two conventions in the past two weeks: MAGFest and Ohayocon.

MAGFest )

Ohayocon 2013 )

Now that I think about it, two conventions in two weeks is not good for my wallet x__x

I'm glad Monday's a holiday. Need to catch up on my readings and get ready for the week.
kasumin: (sopheria)
Merry Christmas, everyone! I have nothing to offer but my words, I'm afraid.

Oh, and this:

I feel really dumb for asking this, but um... what exactly IS Yuletide? With a capital Y 'n all. I've been hearing people talk about it nonstop, but I actually have no idea of what it is besides the fact that it has something to do with fanfiction.
kasumin: (draw fail)
So I've been working on this crazy crossover fic idea for the past few months. I'd reached somewhat of a block with it when I realized I couldn't write movieverse!Tony Stark worth crap. So how did I deal with this issue? Decided to use another canon version of him. Since the other series I'm including in the crossover is an anime, I decided to check out the anime version of Iron Man.

The ratings for it said it was "decent." It was only 12 episodes long and $12 on Amazon, so I said, "Hey, why not?" It starts out okay. I really like the idea of Tony Stark moving to Japan and having awkward cultural adjustment moments. The second most important character in the show is even a decently (in my opinion but keep in mind some kinds of sexism can soar over my head) characterized female. The series follows a monster-of-the-week formula for each episode, but even then the story still progresses. I liked the fights, too! Even if they were kind of dull as far as anime goes.

My fic idea was actually going pretty well. Things tied in even better than I thought they would. And then... I watched the last 4 episodes.

Sort of spoilers if you ever intend to watch the Iron Man anime )


Dec. 16th, 2012 02:27 am
kasumin: (kaiba: autograph)
Welcome new people!

I haven't done one of these sorts of posts in ages. I also realized that my entire journal is locked. After LJ died, I wasn't quite sure of what to do with myself in regard to online journals. But this friending meme has convinced me to start using this journal a bit more.

About me )

Game Fandoms )

Non-game fandoms )

Fic 'n stuff )

That's about it.
kasumin: (nu: sleepy)
At last, the semester is over. I (seem to) have survived. I suppose I won't know how well I did until I get my grades in.

Next semester's looking to be busier because I have to take one more class than I did this semester. Bleh.

I have a long-ass to-do list for this winter break. I'm thinking of finally, FINALLY playing through Persona 4. But I'm not even sure if I'll have the time to finish it even with a month off. It would also mean packing up my PS2 and taking it to my parents', not that that's difficult or anything.

I'm also thinking of watching Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's. Oh, and raising more Pokemon. I'm going to have an opportunity to battle a bunch of people at MAGFest, so I'm thinking of raising some new Pokemon for that. I loooove how much easier it is to level in Pokemon Black 2. It makes me want to keep playing the game even after I've beaten it.

I should also probably finish the Iron Man anime this weekend. I hope the last few episodes are good. Some of the episodes in the middle were very iffy.
kasumin: (kaiba: if looks could kill)
Met up with a friend I hadn't seen in 5 years today. My friend Ariel who I hung out with a lot back when we were both studying abroad in Japan. We got along very well because we're both cynical, slightly jaded types, lol. It was so nice to reminisce and talk about fandom and graduate school (she just finished her Master's in Women's Studies). Will definitely have to make time to hang out again. I hope to go up to Columbus and hang out there since there's a bit more to do there.

Otherwise, my three day weekend has been kind of wasted. I knew I wouldn't get as much work done going home. I made more progress in Pokémon Black 2 than in anything else. *sigh* I get all guilty about how lazy I am, and then I start beating myself up. But when it comes down to it, I'm bad at getting big projects done. I'm trying to work on that, but it's still hard.

Other things I made progress on this weekend are this one fic project I'm working on. Sixteen pages and 6,600 words. Not bad. I can actually see myself finishing this, which is really something considering I haven't been able to write anything fic-ish since 2006. But holding the narrative together in my head is tricky and I keep changing elements. There's a lot to this fic. Maybe I should write some stuff down. For some reason I'm super paranoid that someone'd find the physical evidence and then I'd be embarrassed foever, lol. I need to find a beta, though. A fic this long will probably need one. And then beta would have to at least be familiar with Yu-Gi-Oh canon... heh

Speaking of Yu-Gi-Oh, since I was at my parents' place this past weekend, I went back through the highlights of my collection of Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I own the first 17 volumes and then one of the later volumes). Man, I forgot just how fucked up the manga is. Especially early Seto Kaiba, omg. He's such a sociopath in the early manga. The ending of Death-T is one of my favorite scenes in any manga ever, though. Those 10 or so pages showing his reaction after he loses to Yugi are up there with the end of Death Note, hahahaha. I also love how he wakes up from his 5-month coma post Death-T a total bishounen. I always wonder if Kaiba got taller and hotter as the manga went on because he got more popular or if he got more popular because he got taller and hotter. Chicken and the egg, chicken and the egg.

Overall, though, the manga's too dry for my tastes. I prefer the anime because it's not so dry and depressing in some parts. And the Yu-Gi-Oh anime is one of the few examples of a Shounen Jump series whose filler I actually prefer to the original material because it mostly revolves around Kaiba. But because of the big difference in the two canons, I find fic where they're like, "Oh, I'm writing from the manga canon" and then Kaiba's about 150% more of a jackass than he is in the anime. This fandom is so weird, but I love it.
kasumin: (draw fail)
New layout. With Monados tiling across the top. Ahhh, I love it. So random, but it looks even better than I'd hoped. I think I like this even more than my LJ layout. While I was messing with the CSS code, I accidentally made it so that the Monado tile image repeated over the whole page. Looked so ridiculous.

I might tweak the top image some more if I feel like it. For now, I think it's good enough.